Do you always grunt at home . com ?

Thank you all for a wonderful evening. Believe it or not it really was a surprise!
And I was virtually speechless when presented with my new 5 string bass- thanks Hogs.
Looking forward to more gigs in 2007

I love you all xxxxx

Ah there you are, what a slendid night cellebrating Geoff's birthday. Good turnout proving once again just who is the best bloke. See you soon.
TTFN

Happy birthday dearest Geoffrey. Truly, you are a splendid fellow.

Talented, handsome and a damned good **** to boot.

Take me, I am yours.

Happy 60th Birthday Geoff. Have a great day with lots and lots of Guinness.

Jason - what is your number - email me - same address.
e

Ay up Ern- looking good. Noticed old Pete has been forgetting his identity again- he's a dear old chap. Anyway, just catching up after all these years (did you hear about Syd?- end of an era) Anyway, hope to catch up soon- give Jason a ring he was asking about you the other day- his band are as hot as little hotcakes in a very hot oven, which has fallen into a volcano on a sweltering summer day(they rock). He's not crazy but definitely a real diamond- shine on!
Dave G.

Not falseto but surely you meen nanoo nanoo !

(Falsetto):

Oo oo, oo oo

Who are you?

For anyone that is interested (don't all jump at once, there's good things) I had a cortisone injection in my right wrist 2 weeks ago, which seems to have worked quite well, so I have had the left wrist done today (ouch!) and may well be back to full strength within a month.

By now you will be aware that the band is hors de combat due to the lead guitarist having developed Crapal Tunnel Syndrome. Apologies to anyone for whom we have had to cancel gigs.
You may have seen the review of our last performance in the local press- please feel free to blame Little Dave for Ern now calling himself "The Awesome One".

I am happy to report, having seen the awesome Dr Thrasher in a pub in Seaton today, that whilst his hands may be so bad that reaching into his wallet is even more painful than before, his capacity for the odd beverage remains untouched. You might say awesome. But don't.

By the way- get well soon Billy.

Kinda quiet round here..............that's penguin talk for ya.

Caught unawares by a rock-hopper eh?

Come up %26 see me some time and I'll explain the difference between a nun and a penguin. (The penguin has dirty habits!)

I didn't understand any of that !

The Gentoo and Magellanics are quite amiable!....It's the carnivorous rockhoppers and king's you gotta watch out for!! They can be very devious little buggers and catch you una...............................................................................

The new bass got a round of applause on Sunday, before I'd even played it. Check it out here
http://www.tanglewoodguitars.co.uk/products/stockDetails.asp?cID=492%26sID=1797

How splendid to hear from you Jock old chap. I feel totally reassured to know that our boys are out there protecting us from the monochrome threat of the incipient penguin invasion. Back here in good old Taunton, all is well and pootling on as usual, although the goverment have introduced a level 2 penguin alert and we all have to sleep in igloos at the bottom of our gardens if the siren goes off. Tail suits and sushi have been banned of course, but I don't care as I now favour wearing a rather fetching galabiyya in a union jack print. When it all hits the fan, our brethren in the jihad and our chums in the Royal Marines will all be utterly confused and I shall walk away unharmed (in theory). So how much longer do you have to wear the standard issue thermal long johns before you can return to good old Blighty and ply the band with copious amounts of Guinness then?

Crikey!!!! I've been banging Penguins down here since 16/5/05 without a break!!! How is life in the dizzy lights of Taunton??

Last night I are mostly bin watching The Who.
Up to Bristol with George, met at Lennies flat overlooking the docks %26 SS Gt Britain. Speed drinking Guinness in riverside pub waiting for Bennie. Short cuts to Ashton Gate, fell down an old railway embankment. Went in, Golden circle, good view of the stage, queued for bogs while Zutons finished.
Verdict- Pete: genius, Rog: can still sing, Zak: v good, lovely silver sparkle double bass drum kit, Pino: session player- no cohones, nice Ampeg rig- too quiet, no grunt, Rabbit: cool, the other guitarist: sang a bit. Sound- a bit polite, lights- no lasers, needed Gavs touch.
LOUDER PLEASE!!- I WANT A POWER CHORD TO BLOW ME 'EAD OFF
Got invite to VIP marquee through Lens mate Hayley- free drinks. Drove her new car back to Lens, got home at 1am- sorted.

hi, great band, just found you in the net. check us out too, greetz, mathieu, http://www.hogmeetsfrog.com, from austria, vienna

No need to be concearned, I'm constantly under surveillance here at the institution. Seriously, weren't you in the band Renegade Angel, featured on that V/A LP?

Also, I am getting worried about Jens, the Swedish guy trying to find the V/A LP Offering of Iscra. Can somebody explain this to me please? I have been to Sweden quite recently and I didn't meet anyone called Iscra......Turd yes, but no Iscra.

I would like to publicly apologise for showing my arse to the rest of the band tonight..................NOT!

This weekend I are mostly been hanging doors.

Well here I am reporting in from Sweden, where I last night attended the 'Zappa plays Zappa' concert. It was WAY better than I was expecting - even Steve Vai didn't manage to f**k it up despite his best widdly widdly efforts, although I'm afraid I think Terry Bozio should be locked up and the key thrown away. Napoleon Murphy Brock is a complete star as is Dweezil who has mastered Frank's style beautifully. This was no tribute band, but a well honed rock'n'roll orchestra playing the songs of one of the greatest composers of the 20th century. Brilliant stuff!

Now, where is my rotten fish and crap lager? It's teatime.

congratulations to timmy and ali on the birth of their lil baby boi ronnie!! memba im always there if u need a babysitter lol.xx

I have seen you driving around in your green and yellow stripey people carrier with your chunky great flak jacket on and that smug smile. But you are going to have to face it......YOUR HEAD IS TOO SMALL FOR THE REST OF YOU! So you look stupid.

Congratulations to you both from all of us here.

Congratulations Tim and Ali on the birth of your son - At last I'm taller than someone, well for a couple of months anyway!

Congratrulations Tim on the birth of your son.

Mike - how is it that you always manage to make me look fat and totally insane...........................oh yeh - don't answer that - I figgered it out.

Fancy brightening up your desktop. Then why not try a Hog Wallpaper from the media section.... go on you know you want to.

Will all you cruel people please stop refering to the drummer as a Troll. This is very insensitive and being a Troll myself I feel that it is my duty to once and for all squash these rumours. It is of course not cruel to the drummer but to all us Troll's as having met him I can confirm that he is not tall enough to be a Troll, and after a long conversation with him he seems to think he may even be pushing it to make dwarf status. Ps, please dont tell him cause his arms are bigger than mine and he might hit me !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fetch me a shrubbery!

does anyone need a flower arranger, or perhaps orangery orderer ?

I'm a bit fed up.
All I wanted when I passed away was a little service at the Methodist chapel I attended regularly, a quick trip to the crem in an old Daimler Hearse and then back to mine for tea %26 cucmber sarnies. Job done.
But no- what do I get?
A trip down the celestial river in a papyrus raft, then down all these secret passages to a tomb inside a bloody great pyramid- which incidently cost a fortune- Wimpy's bill for the first fixings alone came to a million denariae- and all out of the council tax. Then there were those bloody eunochs winging on about how it was bad enough having no nuts, without being buried alive with a Mummy's boy, and not a concubine in sight. The sand, the flies- I could go on....

Hi Mike,

I'm a swedish guy trying to find the V/A LP Offering of Iscra, where your old band Renegade Angel participated, along with some other Exeter bands. Any chance you got a spare copy or perhaps know of anyone that does? Any help would be highly appreciated!

Now then our Ramesses, what have I told you about all this playing away from home business? If I catch you at this game one more time, I'll pull yer brains out through yer nose. Bastard!

Single male, mummified, ex-member of Egyptian royal family, GSOH, parchment-like flesh and sunken eyes (non-smoker) seeks similar female to form acapella group

I thought the doctor told you to leave the booze alone Timmer?

I think that should read, signed Tim. Nice try.

its time for a band name change how about a spoof of a song lyric and call yourselves; old, gifted and fat...and mike signed mike.

How can you tell such whoppers Hugh, you know damn well that you've seen us hundreds of times. Why are you now disowning us and our love child the Dwarf.

Bitch!

Tell your Dwarf I never saw DREAM theatre, and to stop creeping every time he sees me.
Please Hugh, did you Hugh? suits you Hugh, love you Hugh, etc. etc. drives me Potty. He's only a drummer- whats he doing in a music shop for God's sake?!!

gRUMPY oLD lUTHIER.

We want pictorial proof of the new sport!
Get to it IT bods!

Geoffrey, you have re-affirmed your position as my number one hero by inventing flightcase surfing. Thanks.

The Strobe Lives!!!!
It's a miracle!!!!!

http://thegtb.co.uk/Audiofiles.htm this link will lead you to a beef curtain audio clip.Enjoy!

Should have read entry 53 before my last entry was made !

Reffering back to message 52 ( I beleive ) what is yold, is it like mould or old or cold or bold etc ? ( to be continued with other rhymes at a point when I can be bothered )unless i'm TOLD not to !!!!!!!!!!

hi its grunt daughter here, just wondering if mike is ever going to put more pictures of the whole hog and crew on the site. im upset there are none of me :( p.s. BEEFCAKE!

1. Slice 6lbs of stewing steak into very thin strips. Hang from the pelmet in the living room. Invite all your friends around and enjoy the looks on their faces as they marvel at your expertise in the field of interior design.

2. Remove your fe**le f**ends ****es and roughly **r*e o**n her **** prizing apart the *n**s. Move f***her up, p*st the ***ghs and u*i*g your thumbs, te**e open the l***a m***ra. There you have it - beef curtains!

So what's the phrase Beef Curtains all about then?

Beefcake is not listed, but I believe it is a slang reference to an attractive, well built young man. (Rather in the manner of a Gay Lothario)

Vooooooom!!!!!

Sorry - obviously that should read 'told'

What, exactly, is beefcake? It sounds horrible. Is it made of beef and cake? We should be yold.

BEEFCAKE!!!!

http://www.guitaretab.com/t/troggs/19802.html

Does anyone have the tab for Reg Presley's Ocarina solo on Wild Thing? My band- The Occasional Ocarina Orchestra is thinking of doing a Troggs Tribute Band kind of thing. We would also be grateful for any tips on how to do a Hampshire dialect- you know "sprinkle a bit of fairy dust on it"

I also am a Scandinavian and I am in search of any obscure bands that feature lesbians of girth that play the drums in striped trousers. The ocarina is also good.

Hi Mike,

I'm a swedish guy trying to find the V/A LP Offering of Iscra, where your old band Renegade Angel participated, along with some other Exeter bands. Any chance you got a spare copy or perhaps know of anyone that does? Any help would be highly appreciated!

who are you nostromo??

Seems like a fair swap - make sure you get a young camel.

im going to egypt on decemeber the 2nd so im very sorry to say im never comin back to england as im going to be sold for a camel!!! dad i will miss watchin ya play! HOW MUCH 4 YOUR DAUGHTER??? hehehehe

See 20 scoobies for milk for my wife !!!!

tim you really need to get some new shirts, i mean come on at least fit a volume control!!!!!!!!

scruffy!!!! I waz in me Sunda best.

That's Burl without an 'e' good buddy.

There I was with all my Freemason brothers at our annual beanfeast- fully clad in leather apron and rolled up trouser leg, when I noticed something familiar about the string quartet hired for the evening.
How disappointed we all were to discover it was not Hoppy and 3/4 of the Whole Hog, but a tribute band consisting of Burle Dexter III., Lyle Hogbottom and Cleatus Turnpike Junior- convincing if somewhat scruffy lookalikes.
I nearly took wine with my wife and friends on the top table!

mikey can u put sum new pics on the website please and 1 of me coz im sexy! cheers luv bex

th th th, th th th,th th th , not scorchio !!!!!!!

Eclipse-... we know a song about that, don't we children....

I said Spain not France. Just witnessed an almost total eclipse of the sun, very good !

OK Mr Pedantic Pedant.

When your nose runs, does it have legs?

A river runs do the sea- does it have legs?

No I think not. The sea has legs I'll admit. (Sailors have them).A tree has branches, but so does Abbey National. By the way, have you bumped into Tim- he's from Barcelona you know
Arrivaderci por favor mein chats mon petit chou.

I didn't know coffee had legs !!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for sending the plans of the DIY coffee table. I have now finished making mine- it looks super!
I have, however a couple of questions.
Is the table also suitable for tea and other beverages?
How do you manage to drink the coffee before it runs off the edge?

To save yourself the trouble %26 expense of buying a pair of binoculars, simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Yes

Don't forget to dispose of the drowned wasps

Whether you are in a cold or not so cold climate you will need to do a few things before you close your pool. In the week prior to closing your pool you need to:

Balance Water (bring to pH 7.2-7.6, make any necessary adjustments in calcium hardness, etc)
Brush and Vacuum
Shock the pool
Re-adjust the sanitizer, then add long lasting algecide
Turn heater off
Reduce filtering times gradually over a week
Drag cover out and inspect and clean if necessary
Remove any ladders, ropes, clean and store
Clean around pool area
Clean and store pool furniture

Mr Clarke, You really need to listen to phone conversations. Yes we're playing the King Alfred on New Years Eve and we will need to let Sarah know how many tickets we need. Keep taking the tablets.

Webmasters %26 IT Gurus.

Sort out the "%26" thing- I can't be doing with typing "and" every time.

Especially at this time of cider.

That's more like it guest book guests!

Drive by custard pies in Staplegrove Road- pah!
I was actually shot at with a paint ball gun (from a car)when putting the bins out. Nearly had me eye out. Reported it to the Police, they said "thanks for letting us know". Have heard no more

Could this be the same police force who, some weeks ago, came round, gave us a blking, %26 confiscated a toy gun when the daughter pointed it through the window at a workman across the road? Lets have some constabularial consistency chaps! Rant over.

I quite like the sound of thewholeho actually. It has a kind of 'gangsta rap' vibe - I can see it now......women, jewelry, furs, diamonds, limos, bottles of 'Mo' and drive-by custard pie fights in Staplegrove Road.

Unfortunately, the stark reality is a bag of plain crisps with a pickled egg on the top washed down with a pint of iced soda water.

So, we doin' New Year's Eve at Burrowbridge then chaps? Do our hordes of fans and admirers need to get tickets or what?

We should be told.

Just like in all the songs !!!!!!!!

Bun wacket buzzard stubble and boot walrus titty !

Hi Ellie,

Nice to hear from you and thanks for the complement - obviously a lady of great taste.
So what is so disturbing - I find it all quite, quite normal!
Have you lead a particularly sheltered life out there in Burrowbridge? You should come into town sometime - we'm gotten traffic lights and all sorts now you know! Hahaha!

Nice to see you've popped in for a look Ellie. Hope it hasn't disturbed you too much!!
What Tim meant by 28 was not his age, but weight in stones.

Boys this is a truely, ummmm disturbing site!! Tim you told me you were 28.......
The last gig you played down the alfred was rather lively and a good time was had by all! Good guitar spanking Ern you beast!!!
Hope to see you all soon, lots of love Ellie xxxx (the veterinary nurse!!)

P.S - whos giving me the fiver for writting this?......

Stonking gig chaps- thought king Alfred was famous for burning cakes, not mass pogo dancing.
Closing time trick cyclists- nice touch.

Last time I saw someone light their exhaust gasses, their shorts caught fire.

Sorry Mike, nice as your Ducati is, it is completely outclassed by some loony with HUGE cojones giving a top fuel dragster a large portion of helmet! My quest now is how to get the classic Les Paul/Marshall setup to re-create the noise - I have already started the intravenous nitromethane and I'm just looking for a volunteer to light up my exhaust gases. Any takers?

Yawn, at least I was doing the dusting while blasting around on the Duc. Always more fun to do, than to watch.

So which band members went to Shakey to watch 5 second nitro burning dragsters, 250mph jet cars, hot rods, customs, bikes etc. and which drummer stayed at home because he had to do the dusting?

Paul - why doncha look out for gigs for us and let us know? Stunt guitar and your good self performed very well indeed - great fun - and what a splendid audience. Now you all know what the pickup seletor on a Les Paul is really for - haha!

Thanks for a great night chaps, and for allowing me to jam with you guys with my all new pointy headed stunt guitar! I won't be around for a while but if you ever get a gig in south devon give me call! cheers!

Clean the spark plugs in lawn mowers every spring. If the spark plugs are showing wear, don't even try to clean them -- just replace the spark plugs. When you're replacing a lawn mower's spark plugs, apply some anti-seize compound to the new ones to facilitate spark-plug removal next spring.

Now look here.

This new website (.net not .org) is all very well, but the quality of entries in the guest book leaves a lot to be desired.

What happened to the surreal %26 witty entries we used to get? Recipes %26 knitting patterns? Plans for DIY projects?

Get to it chaps %26 make this guest book as eagerly awaited as next months Aeromodeller magazine